A Bright New Midmorning with Sheep (for some reason)

This is the first post of Preposterous Pretentious Prattle, or threepr as I affectionately call it.

I’m actually not entirely sure where this is going to go. Should be fun.

Anyway, this is the only post for now because honestly it’s 3 in the bloody morning and I need to work tomorrow but this is going up anyway because SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK.

General ideas I have:

I mentioned this on the actual last post of CQQ, but as it stands… threepr is something completely new. A baby, with no identifying characteristics whatsoever. I can mold this into anything I want. It could become a pristine beauty, remembered for generations as the digital version of famous works like the Mona Lisa.

Or it could be forged into something cruel, something monstrous, a horrific abomination of bloggerdom that is forever remembered as that one blog that single-handedly made wow.com seem a clever, original site filled with originality and insight.

Oh yes, bashing on wow.com in the first post, I’m off to a great start.

At one point I seriously did consider applying there. The pay is really nothing, and frankly I can barely spend half my meager paycheques as it is. (I really want to spell it meagre, but my spellchecker is freaking out about it. I refuse to budge on “paycheques” though.) So it wasn’t for money. Perhaps a shot at a slightly more professional writing environment?

I know at least ten of you threw up a little when I referred to wow.com as professional. Please see the following disclaimer:

The author assumes no responsibility for any nausea felt by the reader. Reading this sentence constitutes a binding contract.

In the end, I suppose it was a good idea I didn’t end up writing for wow.com in any capacity. Such an arrangement would be fundamentally doomed to catastrophic failure.

Can you imagine? Me? Blogging in front of hundreds of thousands? With an audience that says things like:

I’ve leveled both multiple times…the difference between mages and locks is that mages kill fewer things slower, and have a chance of death if they accidentally pull too much.

Can you imagine the internet holocaust that would follow? Can you see the tears of the vanquished as their broken keyboards are churned into the digital soil behind me? Can you hear the wailing, the gnashing of their teeth, the rending of flesh as Armageddon itself (capital A bitches) comes crashing down in the sacred halls of my employers?

There would be no survivors. The cries of my tortured foes would sustain my very soul as I ride in my mighty chariot of war, constructed entirely of pig entrails and the nightmares of orphans.

And then something like this gets said:

Why make shit up on a news reporting site? Do you want people to actually NOT visit your site anymore? This is not the 1st of April. Making shit up is your #1 stop to losing visitors because you’re not credible anymore…Just saying…

The ensuing APOCALYPSE (CAPITAL EVERYTHING BITCHES) would render the preceding Armageddon as nothing in comparison.

Anyway.

Five hundred words in and I have no idea what I’m doing.

I’ve been blogging for how long again? You’d think I’d be less GAIFU by now.

Enough flailing about in the darkness.

It is time for bed.

Oh right! One last thing.

HAI GAIZ.

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62 Responses to A Bright New Midmorning with Sheep (for some reason)

  1. Velk says:

    Awesome, good luck on the new venture! Loved CQQ, it shall remain with many other awesome bloggers in my retired feeds folder on Google Reader, and I shall visit it regularly. I will also stalk you here to see what you get up to (entertaining writing more than the topic so :p)

    One request though – RSS feed button, I can haz one? :p

    -Velk

  2. Shayzani says:

    Hi, nice place you have here so far! I wish you all the best as you begin shaping it into terrifyingly awesome thing it shall become.

    • Shayzani says:

      Ffs I know its too late to be awake when I start missing words in my writing and then agonizing over whether I should let it go or vainly try to post a correction.

      ‘…as you begin shaping it into THE terrifyingly awesome thing…’

      There!

    • Euripedes says:

      Remind me to introduce the ability to let people edit their comments.
      It’s on my to-do list, somewhere…

  3. Sid says:

    Ohai! WTB RSS feed too.

    Oh, and whatsup with the nostalgic end-of-the-road new-beginning image? Do I see sheep?

  4. Pike says:

    I’m actually 99% sure WoW.com doesn’t like me. I say this because anytime I’ve ever heard rumors that they are going around e-mailing hunter bloggers because they need a new hunter columnist, guess who doesn’t hear a peep? Yeah. This has happened like three or four times. At first it bothered me, not really in a “omg you don’t like me QQ” way, since I probably wouldn’t have accepted the offer anyway, but in a “wait, not even an acknowledgment, seriously?” way, but now that I don’t really consider myself to be a WoW blogger anymore I just kind of laugh. Someday I’ll figure out what their beef with me is and it will be funny. (Or maybe they were just getting my e-mail wrong, who knows.)

    HELLO I AM PIKE I AM RANTING ALL OVER YOUR BLOG AND I WILL STOP NOW.

    • DarthRegis says:

      I like you and your blog, Pike. And Me > wow.com.

      *high-five*

    • Join the club.

      WoW.com has this problem where they refuse to acknowledge the truth if it makes their bloggers look bad. They’ll sweep comments from me or Pike or other Hunter bloggers about Frostheim under the rug, deleted and downrated into oblivion, rather than admit that “hey, this idiot didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about at WHU and still doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about at our blog.”

      WoW.com has no quality control, no transparent discipline system, and honestly no redeeming qualities whatsoever aside from Shade’s KYL column, Fox Van Allen’s SPriest column, and Cadistra’s Byron strip. Frostheim is an ambiguous, unaware jackass who steals other people’s content (read: mine) so he can write articles for raid bosses he hasn’t even beaten. Euripides (not you, the Hunter one) is an amoral, self-serving jackass who cares not for anyone but his own gold counter (though, aren’t all self-proclaimed AH barons?). Dawn Moore is a spacey, valley girl putz whose meager Priest knowledge is even worse than my own (and my highest level priest was 60… when BWL was endgame content), god forbid comparing her to actual competent priests like Avallona and Derevka. So on and so on.

      WoW.com does not care about the community or its players. It cares about one thing and one thing only – incoming hits, and by proxy, revenue from them. And that is why WoW.com is the worst thing that has ever happened to the World of Warcraft player community as a whole.

      • Torumin says:

        Although he focuses almost entirely on the early game in his posts, Christian Belt’s writing style keeps me thoroughly entertained.

        • His Paladin column is complete ass. Quality of his Rogue column aside, he does not deserve the Holy Paladin column in any way, shape, or form.

        • Delerius says:

          Note: Chase Christian is not Christian Belt.

          Never really cared for the rogue or holy paladin columns from Chase, but the Mage/emo-warlock posts from Belt are just pure win.

    • Euripedes says:

      “NEVER STOP RANTING.”

      I had that tattooed on my arm the other day. It is good advice.

      wow.com is a pretty seedy place over all, for a variety of reasons Rilgon was more than happy to elucidate.
      Me? Any site that requires that many scripts to function flat out cannot be trusted.
      I kid (kinda). Really, it’s the whole “we’re a company concerned with money” thing that kinda leads into it being terrible at everything.

    • Euripedes says:

      And I really have to figure out a way to distinguish myself from Hunteripides.

  5. leah says:

    O_O I actually like the banner – it has the look of “Deep thoughts by Jack Handy”

    what???

    oh and

    HAI

    • Euripedes says:

      I’m not an artist, not at all. My abilities at drawing are largely restricted to 2d spaceships and stick figures. Even my photo manipulation abilities don’t go far beyond resizing pictures.

      The sheep banner is awfully pretentious, so more than likely it’s going to stay for a while before I can make (or commission someone to make) something “better.”

  6. DarthRegis says:

    I’d prefer to call your blog P^3, but someone might get confused with Point Pleasant Park in Halifax.

    Or maybe that’s just me…

    Anyway…

    /subscribes

  7. Llyrra says:

    I’m not a mage, nor do I play one on TV but I’ve read CQQ for ages because you are a fabulous writer, no matter what your topic, it’s interesting and provoking. That’s why I’ll come to you here as well.

    • Euripedes says:

      Good to have you along!
      Though really, playing a mage on TV is pretty easy. You don’t even have to cast spells, the special effects people put it in there for you.

  8. Faesdeynia says:

    w00t, new blog is up an running. I’m minorly sad you’re closing CQQ because it was instrumental in my learn2play days. However, you’re a good writer so I’m interested in seeing what you have to say when it’s not (mostly) mage-related.

    • Euripedes says:

      I cannot guarantee that no magely information is going to show up here.
      However, I can guarantee that those monstrous, ghastly guides will not be making a reprise here.

  9. Ndiayne says:

    *squeaks*

    You maybe just made my morning. (Also, if the internet apocalypse nukes that godawful website spewing inaccuracies about my class(es) of choice, then i am 100000% for it.)

    RSS feed, give us now thanks. 🙂

    • Euripedes says:

      Merry Sunday morning!

      I think we can all agree that wow.com isn’t exactly, er, the one stop shop for everything correct and factual.

      • Ndiayne says:

        I think I’m more surprised these days when they post something that is factual… (I mean, how do you mess up an article that quotes a Blue word-for-word? Does not compute.)

        Looking forward to more tangential goodness in the future. =)

  10. Lou says:

    I’m not a blogger (I used to play one) but all I can say is the more sites that expose wow.com for what it is, the better in my book.

    /subscribe

    • Euripedes says:

      The saddest part are the legions who actually do go there for information, guides and the like.
      The place does have good info (often stolen or just reposted), but it is just so thoroughly mixed in with stuff that quite clearly isn’t that an unsuspecting user is going to be misled to their own doom.

  11. Asphydel says:

    Oh hai!! ^_^

    As sad as I was hearing that CQQ was closing, I’m pretty darn excited to see what fun new things you come up with. *grin*

    • Euripedes says:

      I am too! At this point I’m not entirely sure where this is going.
      Definitely way more fanfic type stuff, though overall I suspect this will become a platform for pretty much anything I feel like writing.

  12. Armond says:

    Hai2u2.

    I have nothing of merit to say that hasn’t already been said at least twice, so I shall contribute things with little merit. For example:

    * There is a fluffy gray cat purring on my lap.
    * It is a billion degrees here and I am not going out again if I missed mowing bits of the lawn.
    * Chrome has been dying on
    * OH GOD MY FACE IT IS BEING LICKED HALP HALP

  13. Dawnoffire says:

    I can’t wait to see how this turns out.
    Great name for the site, threepr has a ring to it ^_^

    • Euripedes says:

      I know right?! I was originally going to use “prprpr” as the URL, and then abbreviate it to “threepr”, so I sez, I sez to myself, why not just call it threepr right off the bat?

  14. Jujee says:

    Interesting start…I was expecting another type of fiction. Entertaining read regardless.

  15. Angelya says:

    O Hai 😀
    *looks around* The new place looks nice! Happy blogwarming!
    /fangirl

  16. Torumin says:

    Mmmmm your new site is sexy sexy sexy. Also I enjoy saying “threepr” in my head, has a nice ring to it.

  17. Roflamingo_ says:

    If it’s all the new posts are like this, Then I can leave CQQ with the Hulk slow-motion-in-the-rain-backwards-walk in pride. Thank you sir.

  18. gnomeaggedon says:

    I know I need new glasses, but every time I see threepr, I see The Reaper…

    wow.com… Armageddon… Gnomeaggedon (with a capital G)… Naaaahhh.

    I wonder if those Mislead hunters got a little mislead about misleading Mage blogs. Maybe they were refering to wow.com as a whole… So which one was the good one… Arcane Brilliance? Can’t be, that’s a Mage blog… Ohh but then those hunters might be a bit mislead in their misleading

  19. Monsieur says:

    I like the banner, it’s hella pretentious, goes well with the blog title. It gives of that wise old coot in a classically decorated British cottage feel. With a grey(it’s spelled grey damn you wordpress!!) old dog at your side, getting the newspaper and keeping those pesky squirrels in check.

    And grats on your new blog! Is thumb up xoxo(conjac,conjac in old coot language)

  20. Markus says:

    Good to have you back!

  21. I’m a day late and a dollar short for such a stirling post to pound around on.

    Be that as it may, glad to see your’re still writing. Since I’ve actually started a mage, I’m using CQQ for more than just a smile, hope the practical use of your old site doesn’t tarnish its inherent wisdom, for the wit were wonderful.

    Cheers!

    /odd

  22. Kattastrophe says:

    Using a kitten to draw us in…evil trick, I love it. I would have followed you even without the kitteh 😉

  23. SpiritusRex says:

    WHY? Why am I always late to the party? Good god, man, does this mean I’m going to have to start checking my favorite blogs on the weekend? If I do that what will I do on Mondays when I’m supposed to be working?

    Anyways, gratz on the new site and all that other happy crap. Consider me on the bus and ready to go wherever this sucker’s headed.

  24. Larísa says:

    Hm… you are confusing my friend. This blog doesn’t look quite as I expected. Flowers you said? Really?

    Whatever – I’m glad you’re still around. Grats to your new beautiful premises. Cheers and best of luck!

  25. Mystiman says:

    OK! I have something to say. This website remembered my username from CQQ. I posted like an hour ago…. What sector of sorcery did you use to do this young mage?

  26. Arioch says:

    I’m a few days late wandering over (damn that real life thing) but I feel sort of honored to be in on the ground floor of this new venture and am curious/excited to see where it goes. Venture forth bravely!

  27. Plyrx says:

    Agh, WoW.com doesn’t give quality information sometimes!?!?

    That’s an interrobang, by the way.

    The !? bit.

    Add that to your well of useless knowledge if you haven’t done so already.

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  29. ZOMG! You guys seriously need to get laid! says:

    Cheese and Rice! Okay so I’m incredibly bored and decided to read this. Actually not even reading, I googled for an arcane spec just to compare it to my current raiding spec and came across these blogs. At first I couldn’t stop reading… Such remarkable bullshit… It’s like listening to a 7 year old kid playing with his toys, fabricating this world of make believe that most of the time doesn’t even make sense. I saw a link on another blog called Critical QQ that directed me here… and OMG… it’s went from bad to worse!

    From some kid blabbing about some female Paladin’s whore sister, dad who dies and and and.. Had me LOLing all over the place… But when I came here… ZOMG! Now it’s a narcistic drone… some kid who never grew up… never got laid and most likely works a dead end job, on a dead end salary, who clearly cannot distinguish between what’s real and what’s not.

    Too my surprise however…. A reply button? And people are actually commenting on this crap???

    It made me realise something very important… I rate… what most of the guys on here needs is .. in short… perspective. Perspective on life… On what’s truely important. I can only imagine that 70% of the population here currently write fanfiction if not wanna be screen plays. And 100% of that group believes that above all things, they are doing something important. Maybe it’s time to pick up a new hobby… Like… Uhm, oh I don’t know… masturbation or what ever.. Even standing outside staring directly into the sun has got to be more productive than this. It was great… I had the laugh of my life at these typical high school nerds who still haven’t amounted to anything…

    Regardless, … big up to all ya’ll homos. Thanks for still making the A listers laugh!

    F Ya’ll!

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