This is the first post of Preposterous Pretentious Prattle, or threepr as I affectionately call it.
I’m actually not entirely sure where this is going to go. Should be fun.
Anyway, this is the only post for now because honestly it’s 3 in the bloody morning and I need to work tomorrow but this is going up anyway because SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK.
General ideas I have:
I mentioned this on the actual last post of CQQ, but as it stands… threepr is something completely new. A baby, with no identifying characteristics whatsoever. I can mold this into anything I want. It could become a pristine beauty, remembered for generations as the digital version of famous works like the Mona Lisa.
Or it could be forged into something cruel, something monstrous, a horrific abomination of bloggerdom that is forever remembered as that one blog that single-handedly made wow.com seem a clever, original site filled with originality and insight.
Oh yes, bashing on wow.com in the first post, I’m off to a great start.
At one point I seriously did consider applying there. The pay is really nothing, and frankly I can barely spend half my meager paycheques as it is. (I really want to spell it meagre, but my spellchecker is freaking out about it. I refuse to budge on “paycheques” though.) So it wasn’t for money. Perhaps a shot at a slightly more professional writing environment?
I know at least ten of you threw up a little when I referred to wow.com as professional. Please see the following disclaimer:
The author assumes no responsibility for any nausea felt by the reader. Reading this sentence constitutes a binding contract.
In the end, I suppose it was a good idea I didn’t end up writing for wow.com in any capacity. Such an arrangement would be fundamentally doomed to catastrophic failure.
Can you imagine? Me? Blogging in front of hundreds of thousands? With an audience that says things like:
I’ve leveled both multiple times…the difference between mages and locks is that mages kill fewer things slower, and have a chance of death if they accidentally pull too much.
Can you imagine the internet holocaust that would follow? Can you see the tears of the vanquished as their broken keyboards are churned into the digital soil behind me? Can you hear the wailing, the gnashing of their teeth, the rending of flesh as Armageddon itself (capital A bitches) comes crashing down in the sacred halls of my employers?
There would be no survivors. The cries of my tortured foes would sustain my very soul as I ride in my mighty chariot of war, constructed entirely of pig entrails and the nightmares of orphans.
And then something like this gets said:
Why make shit up on a news reporting site? Do you want people to actually NOT visit your site anymore? This is not the 1st of April. Making shit up is your #1 stop to losing visitors because you’re not credible anymore…Just saying…
The ensuing APOCALYPSE (CAPITAL EVERYTHING BITCHES) would render the preceding Armageddon as nothing in comparison.
Five hundred words in and I have no idea what I’m doing.
I’ve been blogging for how long again? You’d think I’d be less GAIFU by now.
Enough flailing about in the darkness.
It is time for bed.
Oh right! One last thing.